22 May - 3 June 2024 (trecena Dog, Wolf). Daily Heartbeat, Intuitive Community • <3 Public Dialogue This Intuitive Heartbeat is daringly narrated by Megan Elizabeth Morris. These heartbeats are an immersive arts installation — produced in collaborative coordination with the Intuitive Invisibles of our Intuitive Community Network. Words written here are usually authored by MEM, with input and requests from Intuitive groups. Sometimes, groups will pass their own words through in order to have them clearly spoken by someone (MEM) with a name and face that can be more safely shared in public. In such cases, original authorship is intentionally obscured in a semi-anonymous Intuitive group context, and Megan Elizabeth delivers the oration in order to demonstrate a practice of standing solidarity with Invisibles' group necessity. You can also learn to do this. Why do we produce publishing and broadcast communications this way? Because Intuitive group members have not yet achieved the resources to be safe speaking from their own names and faces in public. That's what the Intuitive Network is here for — to coordinate improved access to those resources. In order to flow resources in the best and most successful ways, we all need to know what the most disabled and invisible people have to say. Especially when they cannot yet share their names and faces with their text — this way, we're learning to listen more closely. When we encounter them in person, we will begin to recognize them more readily; and we will know at least a little better how to respect and communicate helpfully with them. Usually, this text is written in MEM's words to reflect needs, ideas, and explorations expressed by the group. Often she speaks from her own vantage at group-chosen subject intersections, or she says what group members ask her to say so that their choice of words can be uplifted. Sometimes, she might share a specific quote from a group or group member who wishes to remain anonymous, but wants their own words highlighted explicitly. Sometimes, she might share a contrived quote as an example of a particular feeling state, energy, or experience groups want to dialogue more about. Always, we swim metafictions. Be present with your body while you're reading. Be patient as you come to understand more about what's being shared. If you'd like to understand better, reach out to MEM and ask respectful questions. Be aware that there are many ways to interpret words; and there are many diverse (and necessary) conversations that emerge from hardship intersections about words we might find challenging. Heartbeat entries often bear timestamps or links to public groups where you can watch for associated notes and related material supporting that entry. Support this work by subscribing to www.IntuitivePublicRadio.network on Substack and upgrading your subscription. Send single donations to our 508(c)(1)(a) multi-faith-based non-profit organization, Intuitive Invisibles Inc., by visiting paypal.me/IntuitiveInvisibles. Accessible collective-voice public media sharing spaces are a life-saving community utility. If you have questions, reach out to Megan Elizabeth on Telegram at t.me/maxmorris (or email max@intuitive.pub) for assistance. Thank you for tuning in. Previous heartbeat: intuitive.community/daily/heartbeat/20230415_Intuitive_Community_Daily_Heartbeat_Documentations_To_FTP.txt This document originally published at intuitive.community/daily/heartbeat/20240522_Intuitive_Heartbeat_To_Public_FTP.txt. Reload the above-linked file today and over the course of the next 13 days of this trecena for newest entries. To read emergent unpredictable updates (sometimes sooner, sometimes later) in web document format when that's the toolset we can reach, visit docs.google.com/document/d/1ah_zlwoyBfFR9zX7W6xy2mA8IC6vsZjxY4mnvUFMFRc. t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat/107 . Learn more about our Intuitive Heartbeat and how we do this work: docs.google.com/document/d/1ah_zlwoyBfFR9zX7W6xy2mA8IC6vsZjxY4mnvUFMFRc t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat/107 (22 May 2024) . . . . Time stream non-linear: But, like... it's scary, right? What do these words mean? What's going on? I wonder if you've found yourself in a really scary position, and questioned how you'd get through it. I wonder if you've found yourself in more really scary positions than you could stomach... and had to start to develop a method for meeting those challenges. That's what we're doing here in these texts. And in this Intuitive Narrative, we're building the collective story forward; knowing more and more surely that we have the power to write these pages. t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat t.me/IntuitiveNarrative 20240610-120206 . . . . Time stream non-linear: Okay. Gosh. I turned off the Internet. Okay. Let's see. Where to start? I'll ask and answer this question first: Who is speaking, in these Intuitive Heartbeat texts? Usually, Megan Elizabeth is typing. Sometimes — though not always — she's saying something from her own experience, perceptions, and conclusions. But ultimately the voice we are bringing forward in Intuitive Heartbeat entries is a collective voice, gathered and strengthened and supported by all of us. Sometimes, Megan Elizabeth isn't typing; sometimes, she will (I will) copy and paste a requested text here to merge with the collective voice. Sometimes we will add a particular credit to a group or individual, but rather often we won't. You usually won't be very clear on whether it's me (Megan Elizabeth) speaking, or whether it's someone else. I am coordinating this effort because I have the skills and capacities to do it, even at the levels of (wow) hardship I'm navigating; and I choose a role of responsibility in whatever ways I can for helping others understand what's being communicated, because of my direct contact with Intuitive Network groups and group members working on this project. Do I always expressly agree with what we write here? No, actually. But me agreeing or feeling the same exact way isn't the point. The point is that we — Intuitive Invisibles, and all participating — are together in exploring our experiences; creating relevant, resonant, real-world art; sharing our most crucial and nutritive challenges; and dialoguing about how effective solutions can be implemented. So this won't be the kind of thing you're used to reading, most likely. But it will be a grand adventure and a learning experience. We can promise you that more than anything. t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat 20240610-115627 This public document: docs.google.com/document/d/1eWQ6BHuuR_YQS78g4ddzNvaQXKlpSKls2tHyFYbumiM, t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat/109 Read more Intuitive Heartbeat entries: t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat/107 Support severely disabled Intuitive Network survivors' groups in building this collaborative narrative resource (and access our private secret supplementary text) by visiting us here: intuitivepr.gumroad.com/l/heartbeat-private-secret-supplement Thank you for reading, and thank you for existing. Gratitude. Blessings. . . . . This, here? This is an example of a quote that emerges from sheer aether, giving form to feeling. "It's crap! Why are you doing this FTP crap? It looks crap in the web browser and it's impossible to read." There's a burn in the pit of the stomach, a weight. Nothing we do can possibly satisfy; nothing we strive to communicate can ultimately be conveyed. Why are we wasting our effort trying? t.me/IntuitiveScream t.me/TheIntuitiveInvisible 20240531-133850 . . . . You get this sort of reverse-frisson that you wanted to start differently, but it was what you had. It was how you felt. The arts immersion we most need is the moment we are now experiencing. t.me/IntuitivePublicArts t.me/TheIntuitiveInvisible 20240531-135735 . . . . INTERVAL FTP UPDATE MARK . . . . Those moments when you realize that everything's changed again. How is it we are here, like this, and somehow everything's changed again? 20240531-195233 . . . . It's the tiniest thing that makes the difference. Some little peripheral nib, barely a slip of a bit. But the balance shifts. The flow reorients. The whole physiology might organize itself newly upon this new basis. And just that one little thing, that tiny little increment. That's what's different. That's the key thing. In this case, it's that I can reach Google docs from a mobile device in some ways I could not in previous times. So here's an interval FTP update mark, and here's another simple kind of tag or signpost for my cognitive function to anchor with, and a fresh wave of possibilities becoming whatever it is they're about to become. Here's the text, here's the thought sequence. Here's what I needed to say, and here's the network disability recovery aid. Helping me say it. 20240531-195645 . . . . Okay, so there's the public heartbeat document for this trecena, and now there's a private one too; for each, the FTP that works best from the computer keyboard… and the Google doc that reflects it and can be reached from a mobile device when the computer isn't accessible. Does that mean I'm making four new documents for every 13 days? Seems complicated. 20240531-200513 . . . . The parts of the brain that achieve task outcomes have relationships with one another. Neurons by neurons, neural groups by neural groups. If a bridge has been broken or a forest path has been burned out, the necessary relationships might still need to be regrown. So a part of a task can be completed, but it stops before it reaches the other parts of the same task for ultimate whole task completion. Try a bit, try a different bit, see what works and what doesn't. Try some backwards steps. Approach from another angle. Dig or dive or fly. Stand on your hands. 20240531-200928 . . . . Can I do it without the FTP? I don't know. Possibly not. But why worry? Four documents every 13 days really isn't that many. 20240531-201042 . . . . The book has many more pages now than it ever did before. Each page has deeper pages. Each joint and curve of every rune-like letter strung together, sentence forming, sketching out the structure of realities. It is like the elements and parts that combine to make a body. Cells and corridors; nutrients, minerals; electrical resources. Water and air. Earth and fire. And the spirit that permeates all through it. 20240531-201624 . . . . The keen frustration, pain, and anguish of not being able to achieve the simplest version of a thing that looks like what you were taught would be success… is fleeting. Even when it lasts lifetimes, only fleeting. Every moment our bodies are learning and regenerating, making material from thought and expression. Success is what best comes of it. What's the definition? How do we define it? 20240531-201854 . . . . Heartbeat, underground. She is traveling through the ancient subterranean wilderness. Sometimes she glances upward and her eyes shine. Gradually, she is navigating a complex, gentle incline. Some say 6 weeks from now, emerging. But what is time? She's always been down here, and she's always been free of that deep. Where is she now, that pulse in the core of us? What rhythm sings? We are together in it always. 20240531-202210 . . . . "How long was it? More than 2 hours. Trying to say the details, but the body sapped. How do I say it? Won't it scare you? I don't want to craft myself so poetically for others anymore. I'm so tired." What she means is, she's not sure how to tell you she spent all that time on the floor of the bathroom sobbing, begging God for respite, and losing control of her bowels because of the extreme physiological event that came on a few hours before this quote was logged. "It's like all the cells in the body seize and vomit at the same time. It's horrific comprehensive physical pain. It's the experience of the body dying. It's called a death clock episode for a reason. Oooh. Is that a bit scary? It should be." More and more people experience this, but rarely do they have heeded voices. "Why are we catching so many? Expand the details just a little bit, and the number of sufferers balloons significantly." "What's happening to all these people? Probably lying or crazy?" Notes On Refuge t.me/TheIntuitiveInvisible 20240601-012846 . . . . "It would be better if we didn't talk, right?" t.me/IntuitiveScream t.me/TheIntuitiveInvisible 20240601-093638 . . . . So, the private secret supplement — PSS — is about set up. It intrigues me how much self-criticism I'm wading through in order to complete it. What is the point of all of this? The healing freedom of creative expression; compiling toolsets to support that expression occurring in whatever way it can best occur. But the social disablement normalized all around us, it harangues us. It pinches and prods at us. It tells us we're bad and wrong. Its dictates don't make sense. The opening of a flower, the song of a bird, the path of a creature through the wilderness… takes the form it takes. And me, likewise. And you, I pray. 20240601-212346 . . . . I am especially indebted to Johanna O'Tigham for her supportive words about our Daily Heartbeats, Intuitive Community. This is one of the things it's been very difficult for me to do, and for all of the other things we've achieved, this is still a crucially important thing. We must have a way to express ourselves freely outside the bounds of platforms proprietary. I'm not just talking about the usual social media suspects. I'm also talking about popular patterns and ingrained expectations. How do we give ourselves space and flexibility? Room to move? Air to breathe? And how do we choose this not only for ourselves, but for all? How do we support ourselves and one another in opening… and expanding… and gentling into our own very best dance steps? How do we make that possible to even happen? 20240601-212807 . . . . We start at the most crunched, crevassed, compounded intersections so that we won't make the mistake of forgetting them, or allowing them to go on being invisible to us. This makes all efforts more effective; we're able to meet the severest of challenges, so the milder challenges become consequently much simpler to also address. If living beings — humans, too — are imprisoned and tortured just under our noses, we are negatively affected. Even if we haven't realized it yet. If our choices and practices free up all the creatures around us, gifting respect and self-sovereignty to each living being… …honoring that vital energy… regenerating strength and nourishment… …we all experience the benefits of that freedom and abundance. 20240601-213734 . . . . I don't know how to tell you how many times I've tried to verbalize this, how many times I've tried to explain it to others. Truth, I've too often taken the defensive position — as if I myself was having a hard time believing the things I was saying. Still my body had to strive for them. Had to fight for them. Had to become someone strong enough to say them with confidence and depth and certainty, from my whole self and all my cells and my bones and my breath-of-life and my utter being. Do I believe them today? I don't see another way. Shall we let the world crumble around us as if we are helpless? I know for certain we are not helpless. 20240601-214146 . . . . Yeah, I think I can make four documents each 13 days. Let's see how long the season is. :-) 20240601-214255 . . . . Where are we? Dog, Wolf. 12 Dreaming Water Lily. Some hours ago I finally closed the window with an in-breath of gratitude for the clean air wafting through. I lit a lamp. The sun set. I can't tell you the things I can't tell you. But I'll tell you the things I can. . . . . After almost dying the other night, I notice myself feeling conspicuously freed from obligation. Oops, she died. Sorry. Bummer. 20240601-224126 . . . . It's so interesting, the process of coming to terms with being nearly killed over and over. Let's just let it go on? Let's just let it go on. Let's take bets on which one takes me out. 20240601-225239 . . . . Amperating deep magic, these darkened caverns. What light sparks? What spirit hearkens? That subtle curve of her cheek, barely lit in the dim, still shines a hum. The sounds of her movements vibrate all spacetime. What path did she choose? Where's she going? Can we follow? 20240601-234123 . . . . Ooh. That terrible feeling. It seems to come from nowhere until I remember the usual suspects. Pain. Exhaustion. But re-examine, I think, each threat to life and health. Because maybe one of them turns out to be different now. It's worth finding out. I think about Thich Nhat Hanh teaching how to love the body. Hello body, I'm home. I'll take care of you. I'm here, I'm listening, I'm paying attention. Here is the in-breath. How do you love the body? Breathe in. That's a relief. How did that get disconnected in the first place? Are we in a position to forget what's happening to our bodies? Have we been discouraged from storing the necessary memories? Can we talk about it? Or maybe we shouldn't talk about it? 20240602-201913 . . . . I wonder what this processing really is. Is it actually a trauma loop or is it just that we've been stopped so often from talking about it? How much is it that people have forgotten how to collaborate towards solutions with one another, and how much is it that people didn't know in the first place? Is it bad to solve problems? Is it too scary? 20240602-202241 . . . . Each little step and it's a tiny bit better. In that holding pattern for eons, utter timelessness. And then we glance around and we realize it's all different. It will happen again. 20240603-124842 . . . . It's that time again. Hello, Underworld. We make something, we try to publish it. Sometimes it publishes and sometimes it doesn't. Nearly everything we seek to share requires sufficient context to comprehend; and so if some items publish and others don't, that context has missing pieces. When we are very sick and injured, with very compounded disablement circumstances, we are not able to track very well what got communicated and what didn't. So we don't know if you have enough context. What a strange and familiar friend, this experience. 20240603-125428 . . . . Doing my best to keep breathing. Wow, if you knew. Megan Elizabeth Morris, facebook.com/share/p/egjwAuHKrjJoZVhR/ • 20240603-124555 . . . . Yuck. Is that gasoline fumes coming in through the cracks in the house again? 20240603-125607 . . . . There will be a time some day in the future when my strength will return in a surge and I will meet the challenges we are faced with — my full heart, my unwavering resolve. I will tell you all the good things we bring to the front, the things that root and stabilize us. I will unfold our grand fruits and green leaves, beaming sunshine, soft sprawling white clouds in the clear wide deep blue sky. Do I believe this? I do. It's true. And for now, I am describing something different, I know. You who stay with it, you will find out too. There's a vitality in this that compares with nothing else. It is made fertile by starting with truth. Unrelenting, unedited, uncompromising. That's how it gets to continue growing truthfulness, true blessings, true life experiences. We want these good things of the future to be true. So we do not shrink from the present that is true. We stay with it. We believe in it. We know what's coming. Maybe even soon. 20240603-130652 . . . . So. Social media. Digital social media? Internet based social media? The phrase social media should not be inextricably married to the electronic tech, yet, that seems to be what's happened. Social media itself is a freer, more expensive subject. Through what mediums do we make social contact? Voice. Vibration. Vision. The resonance of living bodies. Collaborative art, on paper, with colors, or by any other means. Shared music. Shared meals. Shared kindness and caring. Relaxing amidst green growing plant communities, wildflowers, tended gardens, gathered trees. Around a fire, with dialogue like sacred rhythms. Waking, setting forth our patterns. Sleeping, dreaming. Social contact. Social media. The electronic landscape decimates much of this; repositions it, and can obscure it. But we will not allow this truer form of social media to be obscured. Nor will we allow our loved ones and community members to be cut off from it, knowing the dire consequences. All of us are a body together; a medium, even. We share physiology and the flow of life energy. If we are caught in a net that does harm to us while fixating and fascinating us in ways that prevent us from having our needs sincerely met, it's a predatory medium. An ensnarement substrate. Social media? Only the catch that swings shut on us. A trap that isolates. Social media, really? Words can be so tricky. t.me/IntuitiveMedia t.me/IntuitiveCopy t.me/RealityWalking 20240603-193739 . . . . Next heartbeat will at: intuitive.community/daily/heartbeat/20240604_Intuitive_Heartbeat_To_Public_FTP.txt More heartbeats: t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat/3 Read about our most current series of heartbeats: t.me/IntuitiveHeartbeat/107 —-docs.google.com/document/d/1ah_zlwoyBfFR9zX7W6xy2mA8IC6vsZjxY4mnvUFMFRc, www.IntuitivePublicRadio.network